Life is busy these days. And messy. Incredibly messy. From the first to last light, our hours are filled to overflowing with caring for our little one. There may be less nappies to wash these days. But now there is food on his sleeves. Round his face. On the floor. Sometimes in his ear.
As ever, he’s out front, setting the pace. Showing us the way to go. Slowing us right down and reminding us to just be with him. Life is messy, right now. But it’s an incredibly beautiful mess. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Lately, there have been days when I’ll wake weary from a disturbed night of sleep and can crumble before I’ve even had my first sip of morning tisane. Facing the day ahead can be overwhelming when you’ve not slept well and the nappies you hang out to dry two days ago are still decidedly damp. But facing the next hour? The next half an hour? The next ten minutes? Not so daunting perhaps.
Our baby is proving to be the most wonderful teacher. Every day – if we let him – he encourages us to turn our attention to the present, rather than let our heart’s eye stray too far ahead. With him around, my heart & head can only be concerned with the here right now; the wind blowing through his fine hair, the softness of his skin when he grabs at me during a feed, the gentle bubbling of the pot of kidney beans just before they boil over. These past days, he’s helping me more and more cultivate the practise of being here, fully present now, aware of what I’m doing in this moment, what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling. Which means that day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, this mothering thing is not quite so overwhelming as it can sometimes seem.